party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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