Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
