Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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