I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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