Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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