is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Congratulations! We have a period
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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