So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
