Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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