Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
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