I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
