i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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