As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
