i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
