Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
