Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
