I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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