i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
