yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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