oh god the rape fog is back!
My Higher Power is John Stamos
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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