remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I love having hate sex.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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