Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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