In the future we'll all be gay
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
