I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
