And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
