my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
They have beer where we have blood.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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