only if we run a train.
done.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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