Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
