Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
