Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
