Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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