They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
