how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
she smelled like a LAN party
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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