So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
