you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
