Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
