Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
