i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
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