It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
