Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
