even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Dignity is for republicans.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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