i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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