phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
