so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
