Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I would fuck him just for his dog
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
