somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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