I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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