Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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