I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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