Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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