WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
