barbara walters just said penis...
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
