Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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