my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
