"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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