i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
