You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
You smell like stripper and shame
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
