I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
do nipples grow back?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
