I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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