so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
