Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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