I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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