Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize