He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm both gender and math confused
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
